WHAT GIFT DO I OFFER TO HER MYSTERY THIS DAY?

• Today's suggested practice: Day 2 of this month's practice... (see below)

• My playlist while writing today's meditation: Arvo Pärt, Tabula Rasa: I Ludus 

• My morning practice: 60 minutes of physical, yogic, and meditative practice, including Linking with the Infinite mantra and pranayama, and Infinite Trust meditation

• My vulnerability practice: I am made to hold her silence and her distance, and to feel the ache for more...

—Hans Peter Meyer

TODAY'S MEDITATION What does my beloved need today? Only my awareness, my powerful presence holding her safe as she unravels all that binds her. I am, in this moment, her true husbandman.

She needs to feel safe. In the absence of another's stability she has, like so many who are deeply feminine-identified, retreated behind a brittle shell of distance, silence, smallness. Always on the edge of flight, freezing. To crack this shell.... not only the will to break free, but the experience of being seen, heard, held safe.

And, there is no safety. There is only the moment-to-moment of being held in awareness.

As a man, as a masculine-identified man, my gift to my beloved, and to all the ways She, the divine feminine, shows Herself in my life, is my capacity and my nature to be the ground and the stable awareness that holds Her safe, in this moment. Here, in my grounded awareness, She may unravel all of the protective fabric that keeps Her mysteries dark, silent. I am, in the moment-to-moment of my grounded awareness, Her safety. The safety my beloved yearns for.

This is no small thing. It is holy work, sacred masculine work, to sustain these moments of holding space for the feminine. My breath, my posture, and with dedicated and daily meditations are my practice to sustain this work. Work that yields not only the safety of my beloved, but also the fruits of her flowering. And always, my own feminine desire, to know and taste the fruits. What does she bring me now? And now? And now, in the never-ending flow of her unravelling, unfolding.

Today is her birthday. A million miles away. Silent. Yet here with me in this moment of my awareness, nourishing me with her mystery, bringing me everything and tenderly, in her way, in her time, with an unreasonable reason that only my deep stillness fathoms.

TODAY’S INSPIRATIONS 🌀There can never be growth without trying something new -- there cannot be growth without mistakes. … Evolution has been deeply studied; it attempts tens of thousands of different efforts before it finds one that causes growth, survival, progress and prosperity. Scientists studying this phenomenon of evolution have marvelled at the absolute forgiveness within nature...this is the forgiveness that allows the failures to learn rather than experience guilt in failure...guilt shuts down curiosity...curiosity is essential to growth. (Guru Singh & Guruperkarma, Absolute Forgiveness)

🌀How can you link being honest towards yourself with developing a genuine sense of trust? (Tim & Marieke, Kundalini Yoga School, Infinite Trust sadhana, Day 2)

🌀I never thought I'd be coming to you like this. (My beloved, my Oracle)

TODAY'S SUGGESTED PRACTICE The second day of this month's practice, five minutes to trust yourself in this moment..

Please read through first, then ...

• Yesterday you asked yourself a question. You wrote it on a piece of paper. If you still have the paper, read the question. If you don't, try to remember the question.

• Set your timer for five minutes.

• Sit. Align yourself by breathing slowly through your nose, feeling your pelvis and "sit bones" settling, tucking your chin and feeling your spine and your heart drawn upward, opening .... Close your eyes.

• Let the question you asked settle in your body as you breathe. Notice where it "wants" to settle. Perhaps it follows your breath into the depths of your full, round belly? Perhaps it settles, with weight, on your shoulders? Perhaps it rests in your hands? Wherever it may settle, just notice. If it isn't settling, if this feels too abstract, allow yourself to feel into this as well. There is no right or wrong. It is a practice to train your body to notice itself, and to begin to trust itself to do more than the physical functions of sitting, walking, lifting, laying, dancing, etc.

• Breathe into wherever the question settles, or doesn't settle. Breathe into this noticing, your awareness. Long, slow, deep breaths that start with the nostrils, the softening top of your throat, the opening of your chest and heart, the filling and rounding of your belly, dropping into your sex organs and pelvic floor. And then lifting up again.

• Keep your focus on the practice of awareness of the question and where it does or does not choose to settle —AND on your breath moving down into your belly, and up through your body. Notice how you are able to do both, even though it's hard. This is the work of your "sacred masculine," to notice itself as stillness and awareness, to notice itself as the structure and ground within which the feminine (because your question and all that flows from it is an expression of your own feminine energies). This is how you build capacity to hold space and to feel all that She brings to you. You are, in this moment of holding space and of unfolding and unravelling, trusting yourself to be all that is, in this moment. Notice how THAT feels. Enjoy this moment, as brief as it is. And keep breathing, keep noticing.

• As the timer signals the end of this short five minutes with yourself and your question and your capacity to be both the holding of safe space and the free-flowing feeling that is held in this space, notice whether you are calm or agitated? Notice whether you feel like settling deeper, or flying away? And, taking three very aware breath cycles, eyes opening, notice the room you are in. Notice how you trust its floor to hold you, without thinking about it. Notice how you trust the walls and ceiling to give you shelter, privacy, without thinking about it. Notice, as you step into your day, the many things that you have put in place to give yourself shelter and comfort, and how within these walls and floors and ceilings and more ephemeral structures you trust yourself to open, if only a little more than the moment before. Notice, and allow... this is your sacred masculine gift to your divine feminine, in this moment of awareness.

More meditations, practices, and inspirations at apprenticeshiptolove.com

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