HER TESTING REVEALS ME

• Today's suggested practice: Day 15 of this month's practice... (see below)

• My playlist while writing today's meditation: Nirinjan Kaur, Sa Re Sa Sa https://music.apple.com/ca/album/sa-re-sa-sa/562059398?i=562059436 or

• My morning practice: 75 minutes of physical, yogic, and meditative practice, including Infinite Trust meditation and pranayama (breath work)

• My vulnerability practice: Today, following the follow, I stand, afraid, on the edge of this silence, this emptiness, and breathe...

—Hans Peter Meyer

TODAY'S MEDITATIONAnd to you, men, I ask: Are you allowing her testing to show you how beautiful you are? Or do you complain that it is too much, that she doesn’t know and appreciate you? Transform this sh*t! She knows how beautiful you are and is angry or sad or disappointed that you will settle for anything less than being all that you are.

How often do I hear this complaint, from myself, from other men: Enough with the testing!

But, as a friend and colleague says, "I am always testing. I cannot open, I cannot be the woman I am yearning to be unless it is safe for me to open. Are you safe?"

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I want it to be easy. I want her, my beloved, to just "trust me." And, thinking that thought, that complaint, I feel the pain of her disappointment. When have I been so trustworthy that she can fully relax into her endlessly flowing, endlessly wet desire to be all that she is?

One of my teachers, to the 70 or 80 men in the workshop as we watched the women move in their feminine flow, "The feminine wants only to nourish you. How are you resisting Her?" Or, how am I failing to prepare myself to receive Her nourishment? Am I still? Am I trustworthy? How do I become that? And this is my work, our work: to become so trustworthy that the feminine, within us and all around us, cannot do anything but flow into the safe, spacious container we hold.

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There are times—moments, hours, days even— when I feel happy. Content. More than content: grateful and overflowing with joy. Open to receive. These moments are the fruits of my practice.

They are also the fruits of Her testing: if She wasn’t taking me to the edge of my capacities I would not know how beautiful my life is. Nor how beautiful and powerful I am.

Of course, I want the testing to be done. I too want ease, comfort. But today I’m more than that. Today, she tells me, "You are beautiful." Oh, to allow that to soak in...

TODAY’S INSPIRATIONS 🌀Offering your very best is an outright act of courage; the word courage means the time in your heart.

Our prayer is that you are heartily challenged to be courageous. (Guru Singh and Guruperkarma, Time of the Heart)

🌀No true change in behaviour or thinking can come without an

awakened body, an activated heart, and a spacious mind. (John Wineland, From the Core - forthcoming)

🌀You are beautiful. (My beloved, my Oracle)

TODAY'S SUGGESTED PRACTICEDay 15 of this month's practice, take 11 minutes to feel your stability in the face of "feminine testing."

Please read through first, then ...

• Today, sit (or stand) in stillness with this question....

• Set your timer for 11 minutes, or play this 11 minute mantra video:

• Reminder: your "setup" for daily practice is critical. It is, in fact, how you "prepare to receive." Over time you will do it without thinking. But today read these instructions and think about it, doing it to the best of your ability, a little truer every day.

• if you are feminine-identified, please sit or lie down to allow your body to be a still container for the river that flows through you. If you are masculine-identified, discipline yourself to stand, feeling the tension in your body as you hold space for yourself as the powerful presence your own river needs to freely move through you and through your world.

• Begin by closing your eyes and aligning your body into its truest, most elegant posture, tucking your chin to lift your heart, tilting your pelvis to straighten your spine. Become still, more still than you've ever been. Your alignment is the physical training for trustworthiness.

• Feel the movement of your breath through your body as a tide, a current, a dance of feminine energy wanting to move through and into every corner, every side channel, every neglected or protected place in your body.

• As you breathe gently in and out, allow yourself to think on things that are testing you —your work, deadlines, your friendships, relationships, your children, your parents, husband or wife, lover, brother or sister, your health, money —wherever you have a complaint, a feeling of wishing things were different, let your awareness settle on this. Not to fix. Not to "accept." Just to notice, to hold that complaint, that discomfort without judgement or anything but your full attention. Let the complaint "relax" and reveal itself to you in ways it never has before. Let it become overwhelming, if that's what it needs to do, without needing to do anything except feel the overwhelm of it. Feel into that. Feel into whatever presents itself. Feel how your own body is responding. A tightness in the neck, the belly, the chest. Your breath wanting to become more shallow. A knot in your gut. A shrinking of your genitals or a pain in your middle back. Feel it all as you hold the complaint. Allow the mantra (if you're listening) to be a series of waves that gently holds you as you, in turn, hold your complaint. Breathe. Breathe more slowly and more deeply, but gently, your own body creating a container for this complaint and all the feelings and thoughts and energies that it stimulates and absorbs.... and gives birth to.

• Always, as you feel into this complaint, this discomfort in your life, remember your posture and your breath. Relax your shoulders, your front-of-body. Feel your throat, heart, belly, even your genitals soften. You are holding this space for complaint, allowing it to become another of the oracles that speaks to and through your body, by relaxing not resisting, but relaxing with a firm posture —spine aligned, heart lifted, chin tucked. You will receive Her flow more freely the more relaxed yet, paradoxically, the more firm you are. Breathe. It's only 11 minutes...

• As the timer signals the end of these 11 minutes allow your eyes to slowly open. Take three, relaxed breath cycles and feel yourself relax from this "holding space" posture and see yourself where you are right now physically, sitting or standing or lying still in this space you are in. As you step into your day know that you are beautiful, that all the testing that is going on in your life is, in every instance, a place where you get to practice being even more beautiful, even more powerful, even more trustworthy than you imagine yourself to be.

NOTE: If you are interested in learning more about how to teach and lead others into transforming their complaints into beauty, please consider further training with the likes of John Wineland or David Deida, or one of their students.

Or, if you are liking what you get here, consider the Path of the Sacred Masculine: Basic Six I offer as a place to start. I really want to see more men teaching more men. What do you need to make that happen?

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